When did it become the norm to pretend like you don’t have any emotions, or any depth of emotion besides “ok” and “good”? It’s also fine if you feel “ok” and “good” but I’m sure you can elaborate on those.
There are no emotions you’ve had that I haven’t experienced or won’t experience. From the positive (love, adoration, excitement, sympathy, belonging, inspiration, happiness, fulfilment, joy, freedom) to the negative ones (frustration, neediness, anger, rage, irritation, shame, loneliness, sadness, heartbreak). So why do we keep hiding them from people?
Surely everybody reading this is a human being, ’cause if you’re not then Planet of the Apes has turned into reality and there’s only monkey business from now on 😉 . But for the sake of the argument imma just assume you are a homo sapiens sapiens who has felt these emotions at some point or another in your life, right? Then why do we make it so not ok when somebody expresses an emotion that is not just either “ok” or “good” when asked the infamous “how are you” question?! Is it because we can’t be bothered to give a commentary of our lives when the question at times comes out of somebody’s mouth simply to acknowledge that they’ve seen you walking down the street but they don’t genuinely care how you are but don’t want to seem like a jerk by ignoring you, or because we just feel like the other person doesn’t care that much? However, how do we know if the person doesn’t care if we don’t give them the chance to see the real us?
Obviously not all situations are the same and you’re gonna have to judge accordingly which ones to invest your time explaining yourself, but perhaps being more open to expressing yourself is necessary. I know for sure I would like to be more open with people and stop fearing having a conversation with a stranger about life, and more specifically, about my life.
Inherent from the fact that we’ve probably all experienced these or will experience all these emotions at some point is that we are fully able of understanding them and feeling sympathy (hey, notice how I didn’t say pity) for those who feel and express them. Now, saying “I totally understand how you’re feeling” is different from looking at the person with an air of superiority and pity and saying “oh you feel that way? Oh I’m sorry”. Don’t pretend you’re above any emotions ’cause you ain’t beetch. I know you’ve felt how I’m feeling at some point so don’t pretend you are better than me!
I for one I am very much wanting people to express themselves and their feelings to me because there’s absolutely no reason why I wouldn’t understand how they’re feeling (and I shall try express mine freely from now on too). I’m almost certain I’ve felt the same way you have, we’re all human so no emotion is new to anybody. So don’t act like you’re a robot who doesn’t feel any negative emotions or even who doesn’t feel any positive ones. Don’t forget you belong to the human species, there’s nothing you feel that we haven’t all felt or will feel.
Also one last thing. I will always understand other human beings’ emotions, perhaps not the motives or justifications behind an emotion. But if you’ve got an emotion I know I can work with that, I know I can understand it, and that means I know I can understand you more and help you by showing you support or even helping you feel differently if that’s what you so wish.
I don’t know if this will make any sense to anyone but it’s definitely made sense in my head. The thought that there’s no emotion I’ve felt that somebody else hasn’t felt before is so reassuring that I’m totally ok with whichever way I feel – that is there is no problem with me for feeling a certain way – and gives me greater sense of belonging to the human race – hey everybody, I’m just like all of you, I feel the same things you do so let’s stop pretending we don’t!